Before we talk about what you should do next, I want to understand what actually happened.

Breakup advice is everywhere.

Go no contact.
Move on.
Fight for the relationship.
Don't text them.
Give them space.
Get back out there.

Some of that advice may be useful. Some of it may be completely wrong for your situation.

The problem is that general breakup advice doesn't know your story.

Before our 90-minute session, you'll write out the story of your relationship and breakup in your own words. It can be two pages or twenty. Don't worry about making it sound perfect. Just tell me what happened as clearly and honestly as you can.

How It Works

1. Start at the beginning

Tell me how you met and what attracted you to each other.

How long were you together?

What was the relationship like when things were good?

What made this person and this relationship important to you?

2. Tell me what changed

When did you first notice problems?

What were you arguing about?

Did communication change?

Was someone pulling away?

Were there trust issues, distance, jealousy, another person, family problems, different goals, or something else going on?

Include the things you think mattered—even if you're not completely sure they mattered.

3. Tell me how the breakup happened

Walk me through what actually happened.

Who ended it?

What was said?

What happened immediately afterward?

Have you talked since?

Have you been texting, calling, checking social media, blocking and unblocking each other, trying no contact, or attempting to get back together?

Don't try to make yourself look good or make your ex look bad.

That helps me help you.

4. Tell me where things stand today

What is happening right now?

How long has it been since the breakup?

When was your last contact?

What are you struggling with most?

And most importantly:

Do you want your ex back?

Are you unsure whether you should want them back?

Do you want to stop obsessing about what happened?

Are you trying to understand why they left?

Are you wondering whether to contact them?

Do you simply want someone to look at the whole situation and tell you what they see?

Finish your story with the questions you most want answered.